White Girl Wasted Audio Recordings
Breaking Sobriety at Karaoke
You know you’ve had too much to drink when you start tearing up to Titanic at a bar while karaoke is going on behind you. You’re not tearing up because of the tragic nature of the movie you’re tearing up because you remember how important it was for your teenage self to see that movie to fit it. How much you wanted a grand story. How your life was totally ahead of you. And now you’re in your early thirties, no grand accomplishments, commiserating with someone who was in preschool when the movie came out.
You spend too much money on your first night out in days. Being dry two days in a row is a bigger deal than it should be. But here you are. What’s even more concerning is that after two days dry, you are able to consume exponentially more alcohol than usual. Usually when the max is 4, you’re 7 down, still coherent, and only wake up mildly fuzzy. (I’m secretly terrified of seeing my liver)
The two nights without drinking (this time) were at best boring. We sat at home, played on our smartphones while some TV show droned on in the background. By midnight I was in bed with Netflix. I wonder sometimes if the reason I drink at night is not only to fall asleep but to ease the depression of having partners who aren’t interested in discourse. I’ve always managed to partner with smart guys, but ones who just have so little interest in conversation. I thrive on conversation. (Honestly, I’m imaging this prose as a conversation. I can hear your voice, your anecdotes, and your exasperated sighs.)