I didn’t feel the urge to drink last night. I just wanted my partner to want to do something (anything!) with me. By midnight, after hours on the couch, I acquiesced to go to the bar. It was the only thing he could come up with. It’s the only thing he ever comes up with. I often wonder if my drinking is as severe as it is is because that’s all he does. I know my anxiety issues are a lot to do with his late night drinking leading to emotional outbursts with video games, breaking glasses (accidentally), and smoking out the bathroom window (which could get us kicked out). There are the numerous times he’s left said window wide open inducing my fear for my cat to cause sleepless nights; we live on the sixth floor and she’s not particularly graceful. Or the time I found the apartment door wide open, let alone that he rarely locks the door anyway.
His inability to deal with any confrontation or minor inconvenience makes it worse. There is no way to address these issues without a fight. And only promises to do better when sappy and drunk. It’s a no win. I was hoping that removing alcohol would help the issues. I want to believe that. But I can’t even get him to commit to that much.