Stranger in a Strange Land
Most of what led to my drinking started just after I moved. I was finding my way through a city whose nightlife was defined by bars and music. Every social gathering place included alcohol. This coupled with my use of alcohol as a means to drift off to a buzzing sleep exacerbated things. I used it to connect socially. I used it to turn my brain off. I used it to dull the dissatisfaction I felt with how I fit in socially and what kind of art was being presented in the community.
A beer or two as a night cap to stimulate conversation with my partner. A drink to find some artists or musicians more interesting. Two drinks to let down my inhibitions and get what I wanted sexually without feeling uncomfortable in my own skin.
And everyone around me drank too. I quickly found myself surrounded by functional alcoholics, creatives who never really pushed past the greater boston area and blamed the community for it. Stitch and bitch over beer and bourbon.